Yesterday my dog passed away.
A million different emotions rushed through as I held what was left of my once lively dog, who used to look at me with wishful eyes for something tasteful to eat, who used to greet me every time I entered the house, who used to keep me company when sad events occurred in my life. There is nothing stupendous about a lifeless mass of decaying body, there’s nothing but silence and stillness of the moment in time.
As I let time process the newly struck information, I realized it is not how much I missed the dog that hit me the hardest, but the love I wasn’t done giving, the affection I wasn’t done showing, the hugs I wasn’t done letting go of. And mostly, the sorrow from not having been with him the moment he was leaving us. I worry he might have felt lonely and scared. He was well the day before, and with one heart attack he was gone.
I wasn’t prepared to let go of him. But I knew his life was a temporary journey. We all know life is temporary yet we don’t take that into account because we’re so busy doing chores we sometimes forget the essence of why we do them at all. Little do we know, every moment is a preparation to say good-bye to the things we hold dear. Yet we take the seconds and the minutes for granted in the naive belief that there’s always a tomorrow.
Life continues as though nothing had happened, and I’m sorry for that Poppi. But know that I think of you and still hold you dear in the midst of my daily routines, and I hope you are finally free to sniff around whatever and wherever your curiosity takes you, like you always wanted to. I’m sorry for not spending more time with you.
In memory of Poppi, the greatest dog I’ve ever known and grown to love.