This is an earnest prayer to myself.
The more I give importance to validation from others, the more emotional imbalance occurs. Though validations are important to measure and position myself in reference to the collective, always keep in mind that negative feedback does not demean the merit of my conviction or effort, rather consists of noteworthy considerations to ameliorate what was executed or proposed originally. Always have my ego and insecurities in check and analyze if I am being defensive against a difference of opinion or criticism, for I can miss a valuable point I ought to improve on or a perspective I was not aware of. Do not dismiss the reasoning of those whose virtues are questionable, for they too are worthy of acknowledgement, even if I do not comply to their manners.
In the face of a lackluster evaluation or defeat, don’t be a coward. Don’t look for escape or a scapegoat. Face it like the proud person I am and take the responsibility to correct my mistakes. Escape is not only going to waste my time, it will prevent me from learning and making things right. Only with clear facts in hand will I find a way to control the damage. It hurts, but nobody said it was going to be easy. Take it firmly so I don’t have to be ashamed of myself. Never cause a reason to be ashamed of myself.
When a promise has been broken, while taking the fact into account don’t hold grudge against the person, for everyone is prone to human error, me including. If the person is someone I chose to be in partnership with, whether that be in a personal or a professional realm, analyze together with the intent to investigate the cause of how it happened so the same can be prevented and the cooperation can run a smoother course.
In the face of rejection from someone I feel attracted to, remind myself that attractions happen in waves and they come and go with time. If the feeling is not mutual, always respect the person’s freedom to choose his destination without withholding him from getting in touch. Nobody is obligated to find me appealing or desirable the same way I appreciate my freedom to express my true thoughts in respect to myself and the person I talk to. If I am faced with silence as a response, understand that my counterpart has his own reasons for such behavior and move on, for my time is too precious to keep my life on hold.
In the face of an aggressive emotional expression, good heavens…if the situation cannot be avoided in equal authority put every effort to keep my irritability under control. Count to ten, count the sheep, have something play inside my head, meditate with my eyes open, take deep breaths, focus on the seconds that are passing, regulate my response so the aggressor will conclude the interaction as soon as possible. Once the talk has ended, I am sure to have a lot of violent messages to return myself, vomit them out in written words and trim them every couple of hours until the message doesn’t contain any thorns. In an interval of a day, ask the person to talk in private and deliver the message as planned in written. A day of interval should be good, not too short so my head is still upbeat nor too long for the incident to be forgotten.
When the heated conflict is with someone of closer proximity, suggest a time-out before regrettable words are said with the agreement to reason within 24 hours. Clearly state the facts according to my point of view, then matter-of-factly demonstrate how that made me feel never pointing fingers. Give space for the person to do the same and accept each other’s emotions as something that happened. Discuss possible solutions so the conflict can be avoided in the future. Wouldn’t it be lovely if this was practiced fluently?
If confronted with degradation of my honor or respect, let the person know this is not okay under any circumstances. Knowing how I operate, it may take a while for the shock to cease and clear my head. Take the time for everything to sink in, and write what’s in my head and make sense of it. Then make sure the message comes across in all seriousness. Do not fail to do yourself the justice if not shame on me. But allow the person to apologize and make amends if he or she takes the initiative to do so.
Finally, always say sorry when I do wrong. Always be the person who owns her mistakes. Know that I will never feel free until I make amends.
Genesis 1:3 says “And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.” Remember that we form our reality with words, and the choice of which ones we use matters profoundly, resonating not only in the mind of the receiving end but most importantly inside the world we create within ourselves. Let there be light.