“Love must not entreat,’ she added, ‘or demand. Love must have the strength to become certain within itself. Then it ceases merely to be attracted and begins to attract.”

― Hermann Hesse, Demian.

I am quite amused to discover a feeling my rationale believes to be unsuitable to have for a particular encounter. Is it possible to feel yearning and a sense of loss for a prospective absence of someone I have known for a mere few hours? What a funny thing. This child of mine, funny child, this one. I know what she saw though, a luminous sense of purpose and autonomy in every spoken word, a conviction of a better future that commanded every action. He was beautiful that day. My perception at times are erroneous though, and a few hours is too little to have any grasp of who the person really is.

People are like icebergs, we only get to see what’s above the water. It takes time and attention to look into the soul where resides the hidden facets of fears and insecurities, and in the end not one person holds the utmost significance worthy of being put on a pedestal, not even myself. Every interactive experience teaches me to level my eyes to those of the inner child’s to fully appreciate the communication, whether that is with mine or another’s. The inner child, as much as it calls for attention, what it wants is not a governer that gives into its every tantrums. It wants to be heard so justice can be done, and is pleased when the mind makes decisions to rule with authority and wisdom. When the hierarchy of dominion is not established and the child is allowed to make the calls…all hell breaks lose…and some regrettable things are said and done, crying for damage control.

My child, when finds someone alluring in overwhelming enthusiasm, asks me to make foolish decisions. She even makes a convincing narrative of who the person may be, creating a fictional character that has alot more to do with her own desires than the person she took as reference. Knowing this is the way she operates, it is prudent to remind myself that the illusion she provides and the reality that has to be discerned are quite distant from one another, and that no soul is deserving of the kind of worship this kid wants to give. I do however make a point of complimenting the individual in credit of the moment of charm, and this act itself is enough for the child to feel that justice was done for her. I try to keep my mind awake so she doesn’t get the better of me.